Wild and Tame: 2013

Over the past few years, approximately 6, I have encountered much opposition and many unfortunate circumstances.  It may shock you that, in fact, I have not lost many loved ones, nor experienced poverty or bankruptcy or any of the like.  My turmoil occurs more subconsciously in the unknown.  Lets just say that my lack of attachment has led me to a difficult place.  I hate to sound negative, because a whole lot of great things have happened in this time too.  I found Life in my Father, I served at a church in South Africa, and I married my dream woman.  Things should be going great, right?  

Unfortunately, I made a lot of mistakes in the past that have led me to stressed financial situations.  Together, me and my wife, Genevieve, struggle to pay all of the bills.  Living on a single income doesn’t make it any easier, but that’s a whole other story.  The problem is, I lack the faith to change things.  Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  Sounds simple enough?!?  I am a man of faith.  Simply put.  But this last season has beaten the snot out of me, and it isn’t relenting.  Which I am fine with, I am a fairly tough guy; I’ve had my share of scuffles in the mind and have come out victorious.  But this one is different, my values and interests and dreams are at stake.  Some days I feel like giving up.  Some days I wish I was living on an island with no worries, no problems.  But a still, super small voice (one that I’ve slowly muted over time) persistently tells me to keep going.  He says that He sees something in me.  Something….wild.  Something…courageous.  Something worth dying for.  He also says that no matter how often I fail, no matter how badly I fail: He loves me.  

It’s a beautiful thing, knowing that even in the worst circumstances of my life (mostly self inflicted) that my life is covered by God’s grace.  His grace covers my failures, His grace provides a comfortable cushion for when I fail.  I am a man. I will fail, often.  But God, being God, never fails.  His love remains the same.  

So this brings me to a point of no return: living the wild life Christ called me to.  

I have no words to define what a wild life is.  Only actions can do the talking.  I do know that this life I am walking into is like no other.  I am Steve, uniquely and wonderfully made in Christ.  His distinct soulprint is bursting forth in the days to come.  So for those of you who know me, watch this space.  No burden can keep this wild man down.  I will rise, I will overcome.  Because of what Jesus did for me.