Why I grew my hair out...

To many people in my life it may make no sense why I allowed my hair to grow for 3 years. For me, it was simply a statement of unleashing something inside of me.

Honestly, I never made the decision in my mind that I wanted my hair to be long. I never sat down and planned out what I wanted. Now, 3 years later I am sitting beneath a mop of hair that falls below my first set of ribs. I’ve lived 34 years on this planet and never (but for one summer in 2007) allowed my hair to grow past my ears. In the next few paragraphs I hope to convey why I believe this journey is more closely related to my internal state of being than my external appearance. Here goes nothing…

“You are a wild man…” are the words that set my heart on fire. I can’t even tell you what year those words came to me from a precious, precious woman of God who I’ve known since I was 19 years old. She’s a fire cracker and a fierce warrior in the Kingdom of God. I still can hear her tone and passion in those words. To say they shaped part of my identity is an understatement. God reiterates that name (Wild man) every so often, typically when I forget who I really am. He speaks it over me when I get caught up in the rat race of life, when I focus too heavily on how to pay our bills or how to raise our children. The Father’s reiteration of that name over me have kept me pumping with lifeblood for all of my 30’s. The enemy attempts to steal that from me, but God’s faithfulness speaks it out twice as emphatically. The most recent I can recall happened when I was in Colorado alone. I was driving from Denver to Aspen to visit a friend before a weekend in the mountains. I was reminded, as I emerged from a tunnel gouged out of the mountain itself, that I was a wild man. I was a pioneer. I was fierce. And most importantly, I am those things still. God’s heart and fury and fierceness met me on that road to Aspen. His heart reminded me of my journey, of my dips and bumps and bruises. And most of all, He showed me He still wanted me. And He still wanted me to be that wild man I had discovered so many years ago, before I was an adult, before I was married, before I was a father myself.

I’ve always worked in a job that requires some sort of ‘professional’ appearance. It’s not that they required me to have short hair but I wanted to maintain an appearance that made me seem more put together than I really am. I kept my hair neat and my face clean shaven to comply. It wasn’t really until 2017 when I was hired on with a local company that I thought I could let me guard down a bit. I’m not in a corporate or retail environment and don’t have the pressure of a customer facing career with this company. I knew this was God’s timing to be here and I know He was drawing something out. A type of physical manifestation of an internal expression. Human’s hair has represented many, many things throughout history. It’s been used to ‘neuter’ (think Samson from the book of Judges) and to wash the feet of Jesus (think Mary in the Gospels). It’s been used to manipulate and control (Traditional faith maintained a woman had to have long hair while men were prohibited). Hair is a beautiful touch of God, in my opinion. He created us each as unique as Himself: each with a different fingerprint, each with a different personality, and each with a different hair style. In my heart I realized something: allowing my hair to grow out was a new way to express the inherent depth of God’s uniqueness.

The wild man will always be suppressed to some degree. Partially due to restraint, in part due to fear. But allowing my hair to be untamed, unleashed is a form of bucking that fear and restraint. Every morning, when I wake from my quarter day coma, I remember I have this hair that reminds me of who I am. I can’t always dwell in those thoughts, but I for sure can nod my head in a way that glorifies God. The creator of all life, the One who pursues me. Father God, the One who sees me and the One who promotes my wild nature!

Now obviously, I write this for a purpose and it is not to flaunt myself or my story. I write this as a form of encouragement that to anyone reading this: Find your ‘wildness’. Experience your moment. Receive your new name (see Revelation 2.17) What I mean, more specifically, is that you should find the theme that Father God is speaking to you via. It could be a multitude of different areas but I promise you when you discover what it is, it will indelibly rock your world. I’ve said a lot to simply say this: there are things buried deep within our souls and our hearts. Just like ancient artifacts some are buried a foot deep and others are buried a mile deep. God is pulling all of us into a treasure hunt to uncover who He is and along that adventure we discover more of who we are.

Keep going friends. Keep seeking. Much love.