Remember When...

Inglorious words. But I hear them in my head and heart day after day. ‘Remember when you used to go sky diving for fun..’ or ‘remember when you loved God with all of your heart’. That one stings even more because it indicates that I either believe or feel that I don’t love or serve or represent the Father in the same way that I used to.

Let’s go there, shall we?

“Remember when you loved God with all of your heart?” To be honest, that question could be framed in lots of different ways, usually unique to your own personal story, world view and even down to your habits and personality. A lot of times the words in my head sound very similar to that phrase. I’m continually comparing myself to myself. So I’m admitting here that not only do I compare myself to others, I compare and measure myself against my old self. My past self. The self that cannot be changed nor reconfigured nor reconstructed. You see, we are all products of our experiences. I’m sure you can realize the damage this ‘comparison’ could cause. The damage is multifaceted: I can revise my past in my head, but not in reality. I can look back on myself when I was 20 and envy the fire and passion I had. My past self is like a 3 year old’s 10 piece puzzle that all of the pieces are the same in shape but can be put in the wrong places making it resemble a poor mans Picasso. From 5, 15 or even 25 years in the future it’s easy for me to misremember my own life….if I allow it. I get this thought pretty regularly to be honest and I hate it. I hate that I envy myself.

Snap back to reality: I am where I am. I am not where I am not meant to be. If I am led by the Spirit of God, I am a Son of God (See Romans 8). Holy Spirit, would You come and lead us all.

The other aspect to this self comparison is the life it is stealing from me in the moment. For me to be looking backwards while walking forward is of utmost absurdity.

What does it mean to press on? What does it mean and look like to ‘forget what is behind’? To be clear, these are not rhetorical questions. I want us to ask ourselves these questions and be led by what the Spirit is teaching us. He longs for us, not as we were but as we are and as we are becoming. Almighty God, Heavenly Father is heavily, heavily invested in us and in our journey to maturity. Jesus entrusted a group of misfits to lead all of humanity back to Himself. God entrusts us with the most precious gift we have: the Gospel of Jesus and His Glorious Kingdom. And He longs for us to partner with Him. The crazy part is that when Jesus called His disciples, as I was chatting though with a friend just this evening, most of these ‘men’ were just barely coming of age. This just shows me the trust God had in the message and the fact that He is willing to risk and leave the 99 for the 1. We are the 1, each of us.

So let’s simplify this post: Look to God. Not behind you, not beside you. Look to the Mountain because it requires you to be looking forward and upward. Remember who He is. Knowing God is Eternal Life (John 17).

Ps: Comparison is the thief of joy (even if you’re comparing yourself to yourself).

Many blessings and many thanks to those who read this.